by Billy Metts
I really hate guitar solos. I mean I hate them with a passion. I have never seen the value in that 20 seconds to 20 minutes of spotlight dance that some prick in almost every band on Earth, metal or not, feels a need to do. I’m not impressed by your ability to jiggle a tremolo,whammy, or whatever bar in a creative and rhythmic fashion. I’m not interested in you tricky finger work. I couldn’t give less of a damn if I tried about your quick scale runs and sweeps all over the neck. Just not my thing. Never has been.
Not all guitar solos are evil. Some are beyond needed for the song to be paced right or atmospherically correct(example- Baroness’ Red Album). Sometimes they’re a great way to give an overworked drummer a break (example-every Slayer guitar solo ever). Sometimes they can allow a singer to interact with the crowd without the burden of singing (example- Iron Maiden). I get that. I’m cool with that. Some bands know how to do it, some don’t. Some just figure that they’re supposed to have them so they’re gonna have them. Sometimes, the song is so monotonous and boring that a really really big dose of weedlee waw HAS to happen or the audience is going to fall asleep (example- Mayhem). So before you fill the comment section with your top 5 list of best guitar solos EVAR!!!, know I don’t hate them all- just the vast majority of them.
Guitarists- do what’s right for your song, not for yourself. Bands- slap your guitarist, tell him he’s not a real man, that no one could ever love him, that he’s stupid, and then slap him again if he gets all tearful about not being able to shred on a song that doesn’t need it. The world will thank you and you will have a great time.